{"id":882,"date":"2021-10-22T10:51:51","date_gmt":"2021-10-22T14:51:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/?p=882"},"modified":"2021-10-22T10:51:51","modified_gmt":"2021-10-22T14:51:51","slug":"apology-makes-things-worse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/2021\/10\/apology-makes-things-worse\/","title":{"rendered":"Apology Makes Things Worse"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s an example of an offender\u2019s well-meaning apology just making matters worse.<\/p>\n

Professor Bright Sheng, a long-time professor of music and composition at the University of Michigan, is teaching an undergrad composition seminar on Shakespeare this semester, and on September 10 he showed the 1965 film \u201cOthello,\u201d in which Laurence Olivier appears in blackface. As reported in the Michigan Daily<\/a>, Prof. Sheng sent an apology that day, noting that the casting and portrayal \u201cwas racially insensitive and outdated.\u201d Five days later, the dean of the School of Music sent a department-wide email acknowledging the incident and apologizing for what the students experienced. He also reported the incident to the Title IX office.<\/p>\n

On September 16, Prof. Sheng sent a formal apology to the department, and this is the one that caused more harm. In the letter, Prof. Sheng \u2013 who was raised in China during the Cultura<\/a>l Revolution and came to the US as a graduate student in 1982 \u2013 acknowledges that showing that movie was \u201coffensive and has made you angry,\u201d and that he should have thought about it more carefully. Had he stopped there, it might have been fine.<\/p>\n

But his apology letter goes on to defend himself. He says he has \u201cnever thought (of himself as) being discriminating against any race,\u201d citing examples of how he has worked with people of color in the past. One of the students who was offended by the movie was also offended by this apology. She viewed it as \u201cshallow\u201d and making excuses. \u201cInstead of just apologizing for it, he tried to downplay the fact that the entire situation happened in the first place.\u201d Graduate music students weighed in, calling the apology \u201cinflammatory.\u201d<\/p>\n

Professor Sheng now realizes his mistake. In an interview with the Michigan Daily, he noted, \u201cIn my formal apology letter to the whole composition department \u2026 I simply try to say that I do not discriminate. In retrospect, perhaps I should have apologized for my mistake only.\u201d<\/p>\n

When it comes to apologies \u2013 especially ones that are written \u2013 less is often more. What the offender views as explanation is viewed by the audience as excuse. The offender is trying to put this in context and reassure his audience that he\u2019s not really a bad person \u2013 but this should come later, after the \u201cvictim\u201d accepts the apology. If you\u2019re apologizing and hear yourself getting to a \u201cbut\u201d \u2013 I\u2019m sorry for this BUT I am not really racist \/ I made a mistake this time BUT I\u2019m overall a good person \u2013 stop! As Ken Sande notes in his book, The Peacemaker<\/em>, the \u201cbut\u201d acts as an eraser, wiping out the apology that preceded it. All the recipient hears is what sounds like an excuse. Professor Sheng\u2019s letter may not have included an actual \u201cbut,\u201d yet there was a component that turned the corner from apology into what sounded to some like self-serving statements.<\/p>\n

Better to stick to the four R\u2019s: Take R<\/strong>esponsibility. Express R<\/strong>emorse. Offer R<\/strong>estitution. Make R<\/strong>eforms so it won\u2019t happen again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s an example of an offender\u2019s well-meaning apology just making matters worse. Professor Bright Sheng, a long-time professor of music and composition at the University of Michigan, is teaching an undergrad composition seminar on Shakespeare this semester, and on September 10 he showed the 1965 film \u201cOthello,\u201d in which Laurence Olivier appears in blackface. As […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apologies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/882","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=882"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/882\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":883,"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/882\/revisions\/883"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=882"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=882"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/abfifer.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=882"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}