A couple more public apologies in the media recently:

Donald Sterling, owner of the NBA basketball team the Los Angeles Clippers, made racist comments to a girlfriend last month that became public. His attempt in a CNN interview last week to apologize ended up making things worse—as bad apologies will do.

It started out well: “I made a terrible mistake. I’m here to apologize. I’m asking for forgiveness. I’ll never do it again.” These are essential components of an effective apology. But he made a mistake common to many of us when we attempt to apologize: he kept talking. The best thing to do after a good apology is to stop talking and wait. In fact, Peacemaker Ministries recommends that the apology end with a question rather than a statement; the question is, “Will you forgive me?”

Yesterday, South Korean President Park Geun-hye apologized for her government’s role in the ferry disaster last month that killed over 300 people. “As the President who should be responsible for people’s life and security, I am sincerely apologizing to the people for having to suffer pain,” she said. “The final responsibility for not being able to respond properly lies on me.” Taking responsibility is an important component of a good apology. Another is to do something to ensure the offense won’t happen again—as Peacemaker Ministries calls it, “Alter behavior.” President Park’s speech included her decision to dismantle the Coast Guard, recognizing that its current structure impeded the search and rescue process. So her apology isn’t bad – although probably not enough for the grieving families.

The benefit of critiquing public apologies is to reflect on what makes an effective apology – and what doesn’t — so that our own apologies will be effective. There’s just no substitute for a good apology.