December 15, 2017 – 4:50 pm
Mediation of federal lawsuits between MSU and women who were victims of Larry Nassar is complete. The parties agreed back in August to three months of mediation. One of the plaintiff attorneys, Mick Grewal, stated then that they hoped to receive sexual abuse counseling for the victims, as well as changes in policies and procedures at MSU. The mediator, Grand Rapids-area attorney Jon Muth, is one of the most well-respected mediators in the state. He was a logical choice for this tough assignment.
Mediation ended recently, and the plaintiffs got at least one of their wishes: the MSU Board of Trustees announced today that it has set up a $10 million fund for counseling and mental health services as part of its “commitment to support Nassar’s victims.” Simon said this was the first board meeting after the mediation ended, implying that the board today ratified offers its representatives made in the mediation. (The actual terms of a mediated agreement are typically confidential.) MSU President LouAnna K. Simon also announced in an email to “the MSU community” a review of MSU policies and procedures, although she did not say that any changes had actually been made. She referred readers to MSU’s “Our Commitment” web-site, which headlines that an independent investigation determined that MSU is compliant with Title IX requirements.
The end of this mediation, and the ratification by the Board of Trustees, by no means ends the conflict between MSU and the women abused by Nassar. President Simon apologized during the board meeting this afternoon, but some women criticized it. “I do not feel that the apology from Lou Anna Simon was heartfelt,” Kaylee Lorincz, one of Nassar’s victims, said after the meeting, according to the Lansing State Journal. As with all public apologies, and especially when there is ongoing litigation (of dozens of cases filed in state court), President Simon must walk a fine line in what she says in her apology. However, the first element of a good apology is to take responsibility, and MSU has yet to do that publicly. In her letter today to the MSU community, Simon quoted from the statement of its outside attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald: “The evidence will show that no MSU official believed that Nassar committed sexual abuse.” That may indeed be the problem: the young women were complaining to various MSU officials, and no official believed them.
November 30, 2017 – 3:43 pm
Matt Lauer, the 20-year host of the Today show, issued an apology today after being fired from NBC News yesterday in response to allegations of sexual harassment. The apology isn’t too bad. It includes responsibility and regret, as well as some thoughtful phrases like, “I realize the depth of the damage and the disappointment I have left behind …” and the need for “time and soul-searching.”
But one part of it made me wince: “Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized.” An apology isn’t the place for defences or clarifications. The time for that is after the apology is accepted, not in the midst of the apology itself. Inserting it undercuts the sincerity of the apology; just how much of it are you sorry for?
I had already decided to rank this a “B+” when I read a post on Salon giving it that grade. Author Mary Elizabeth Williams contrasts the Lauer apology favourably with other flawed media apologies we’ve heard in the last month, but laments that no one apologizes until an accuser has the courage to come forward. The “Weinstein effect” has prompted many victims of sexual harassment to come forward, but wouldn’t it be nice if it prompted some perpetrators to go public before their victims do?
November 27, 2017 – 9:32 am
For a light-hearted look at generic advice on how (not) to make a public apology, check this out from the New York Times.
November 22, 2017 – 9:16 am
The apologies have been flying off the shelves this month, as many public figures respond to accusations of sexual harassment. A Washington Post article today does a nice job of summarizing the good and the bad of the public apologies we’ve been witnessing. The author, Allison Klein, notes that many apologies miss the mark because they’re still all about the offender, rather than the victim.
This highlights the challenge of the public apology, which has two audiences: the victims themselves, and the offender’s “constituency,” be it their fans or the citizens they represent. In contrast, the private apology that most of us have occasion to make is simply between us and the person we’ve offended. Studying public apologies gives us clues to how we can make our own apologies better – or worse.
Another good piece on apologies appeared today on National Public Radio. Interestingly, the author, Harriet Lerner, discourages asking for forgiveness. Her advice may be sound for public apologies, but for inter-personal apologies, asking for forgiveness is an indication that the speaker really desires reconciliation. It’s also a reminder to Christians of our obligation to forgive–eventually. It might not be appropriate where the offense was life-changing for the victim, but for everyday apologies, it’s good practice.
November 16, 2017 – 1:04 pm
I usually write about public apologies, but this week I’m thinking about an apology that hasn’t happened: what if Roy Moore offered a public apology for his past transgressions? Could that save his Senate campaign?
Several women have come forward in the last week to accuse Roy Moore of sexual misconduct decades ago. Judge Moore has denied the allegations but many do not believe him, and some Republican senators, including Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, are calling on Moore to withdraw from the campaign.
Could a good apology turn this around? Or, could it have, had he apologized after the first accusation went public last week?
New York Times columnist Ross Douthat speculated in a tweet Monday that it could. He even proposed the outlines of the apology:
“‘Before I was married I was a sinner and a creep. I beg the young woman’s forgiveness. It was decades ago, and I ask you to judge me on the good husband and father and grandfather I’ve become.’ Etc”
I think Moore’s apology would need to go further. He would need to apologize also for his silence about this for decades, that allowed these women to suffer privately. Acknowledging the impact of his sins on their lives would be a sign that he “gets it.” We might also appreciate hearing something like, “I thank God every day for his forgiveness, and ask God every day for the grace to conform my behavior to His will.” If he’s doing anything else to hold himself accountable, it’d be good to mention that too.
He should apologize only if he did it, and if he’s sorry. Even so, an apology now might not salvage his campaign. But it still might be a good thing to do.
