Court-Ordered Apology

Of what value is a judge-ordered apology? A Michigan court ordered a state official last week to apologize to Flint residents for her role in perpetuating the Flint water crisis. Will it help the official? Will it help Flint residents feel better?

There may be some value to the “offender,” who is forced to face the possibility of bearing some responsibility for the offense. But if the offender had any sense of remorse, wouldn’t the offender have expressed that before being compelled to do so?

It seems like it would have no value to the “victim.” An apology that is in any sense coerced usually rings hollow. The very fact that it is compelled negates the sincerity essential to an effective apology. Think about the apologies our moms forced our siblings to make to us; did those apologies reconcile us to our offending sibling? Quite the opposite—they made us feel vindicated, like we won and they lost.

Indeed, it seems like a court-ordered apology is simply another form of punishment for the offender, while some vindication for the victim. For these and other reasons, courts rarely “force” an offender to apologize – apology is rarely a component of a sentence.

What if the sentence had encouraged, rather than required, an apology? “…and if the defendant feels so moved, the defendant might consider apologizing in some fashion to the people she believes she may have harmed…” An apology under these circumstances might still be suspect, if the defendant sees this as quid pro quo, but it would allow an opportunity for some genuine repentance that is foreclosed by a compulsory apology.

 

Grievance Filed Against Attorney-Mediator

How much must a mediator disclose to the parties about the mediator’s social relationship with one party’s attorney? That question is at the heart of a complaint filed by the Michigan Attorney Grievance Commission against an attorney-mediator in a divorce case who failed to disclose to the husband’s attorney during the course of their year-long mediation/arbitration that she had made vacation plans with the wife’s attorney.

The divorce case, Hartman v Hartman, was filed in Oakland County in 2009, and went to mediation in 2010. The neutral appointed to the case is an experienced domestic relations mediator who served as the parties’ mediator and then as their arbitrator. She issued several arbitration awards, but the case did not resolve and the husband retained new counsel. Just before the final arbitration hearing  occurred, the neutral went on vacation with her husband at the Florida home of the wife’s attorney. The husband’s attorney learned of this the day before the neutral departed on vacation.

Whether the neutral’s arbitration awards should stand was the subject of litigation, and both the trial court and the Court of Appeals (Hartman v Hartman, Case No. 304026, decided August 7, 2012) upheld them.

Whether the mediator acted unethically – i.e., acted contrary to the Mediator Standards of Conduct – is regularly discussed in mediation trainings. We have used this case the last few years in teaching ethics in mediation trainings, as a clear example of a conflict of interest. The Michigan Mediator Standards of Conduct have always recommended that a mediator should avoid even the appearance of a conflict of interest by promptly disclosing actual and potential “conflicts of interest reasonably known to the mediator.” They now explicitly state that a “mediator should resolve all doubts in favor of disclosure.”  We have even suggested in trainings that, based on Standard II.E., she should have declined to serve at the outset. Standard II.E. provides, “If a mediator’s conflict of interest could be reasonably viewed as undermining the integrity of the mediation process, a mediator shall withdraw from or decline to proceed with the mediation regardless of the express agreement of the parties to the contrary.”

This provision is not unlike its predecessor in effect in 2010, “After disclosure, the mediator shall decline to mediate unless all parties choose to retain the mediator.”

Whether the mediator’s failure to disclose a conflict of interest amounts to attorney misconduct seems to be the essence of the complaint. The complaint refers to Michigan’s Standards of Conduct for Mediators as they existed in 2010, when the alleged offense occurred; the Standards were revised in 2013, but the provisions regarding conflicts of interest are essentially the same. Unfortunately, the complaint calls them “Standards of Misconduct,” and cites the attorney for “failing to adhere to and conduct the arbitration” in conformity with the Standards—yet these Standards pertain to mediation, not arbitration. Since the attorney conducted both mediation and arbitration without disclosing the relationship, it’s not clear whether the grievance is based on the conflict of interest during the mediation, or during the arbitration, the latter being more serious; it appears to include both.

Since Michigan has no state-level enforcement of mediator ethics (in contrast with states like Florida), parties and mediators must rely on other procedures such as litigation and attorney misconduct proceedings to ensure ethical behavior from mediators. If this mediator were not an attorney, the worst sanction would be removal from the court’s roster of mediators, unless the husband could prove actual damages (and there are virtually no U.S. cases where a party has prevailed against their mediator for damages). Citing an attorney for professional misconduct for violating the Standards of Conduct for Mediators would send a strong message to all attorney-mediators to heed those Standards when mediating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christian Mediation in Nigeria

The Christian Lawyers Fellowship of Nigeria (“CLASFON”), the oldest and largest Christian lawyers association in Africa, is leading the way in bringing mediation to Nigeria.

Two years ago, CLASFON invited Iowa attorney and Christian conciliator Laurie Stewart to teach a five-day course on inter-personal biblical peacemaking to over one hundred CLASFON lawyers in Nigeria. These lawyers and judges developed a vision for “Christian ADR” and asked Laurie to come back and provide training in Christian conflict intervention. She assembled a team of Certified Christian Conciliators to teach these courses through the Institute for Christian Conciliation, and I was honored to be part of this team. Over five days earlier this month, we were in Nigeria to teach the basic peacemaker seminar, two days of biblical conflict coaching, and two days of Christian mediation to about sixty lawyers, judges and pastors from all over Nigeria.

On the theory that peacemakers cannot bring peace to others until they have it themselves, we asked participants to come to the training prepared to be coached on a personal conflict. After a day of learning conflict coaching skills, participants paired up and “coached” each other through a personal conflict. Stories abounded of how God moved in participants’ hearts: one man said he was preparing to divorce his wife because she fought with his mother, but now he saw that he needed to reconcile with his wife; a woman was able to forgive a teacher who was mean to her young daughter; a pastor said he needed to forgive a woman in his congregation who had snubbed him, and he planned to stop at her house on his way home from the training to reconcile with her. Two people said they were convinced they were totally innocent in their respective conflicts, until their “coaches” helped them see their contributions to them – in light of Jesus’ teaching that we must first get the log out of our own eye before going after the speck in our neighbor’s eye.

Mediation isn’t used much in Nigeria’s legal system, so it’s exciting to me that, as a result of this training, it is being introduced as a “wholistic” process that addresses emotional, relational and spiritual issues in addition to legal and material issues. Lawyers were rightly skeptical about how a mediator could ever be truly neutral, and why the second party would agree to a mediator recommended by the first party. They also questioned how their ethics rules pertain when lawyers sit as mediators. We assured them that the American bar also wrestles with these issues, and that they will figure this all out. We understand that there are CLASFON chapters in three major Nigerian cities eager to set up Christian mediation centers in their communities. These lawyers have an opportunity to impact the legal system, the church, and their culture.

Safety in Mediation

A colleague recently did a business mediation here in Michigan where he discovered after the fact that both parties were carrying concealed weapons. As this becomes more commonplace in the U.S., it behooves us as mediators to do what we can to ensure party safety in mediation.

One way to ensure that no one brings a gun to a mediation is to conduct all mediations in the courthouse. But, given courts’ locations, limited space and hours of operation, this may not be practical or convenient. And guns and other weapons are just one component of safety concerns in mediation.

Michigan’s Mediator Standards of Conduct encourage mediators to screen for the presence of any impediment that would make mediation unsafe, including separate meetings with each party prior to a joint session. (Standard VI.A.1.) Our State Court Administrative Office has developed a pre-mediation screening protocol for use in domestic relations mediations, to assist mediators in eliciting any factors that would cause the mediator to take precautions such as avoiding joint session, or to avoid mediation altogether. While pre-mediation screening is required in domestic relations cases (MCL 600.1035), it is prudent in all cases. We tend to think that violence is more likely in domestic mediations, but the worst case involving guns and mediation was a triple homicide that occurred after a business mediation. One party left the building, went to his car to retrieve his gun, and returned just in time to gun down the other party and his lawyer as they were exiting the building; the gunman later killed himself. Another murder happened after a probate mediation. Screening for weapons needs to be augmented by other safety measures, and needs to be considered in every case.

Professor Kristen Blankley, at University of Nebraska’s College of Law, has written a practical summary of steps mediators can take, prior to and during the mediation, to try to protect both parties and the mediator. They include everything from knowing where the exits are to arranging for co-mediation. Her recommendations will benefit every mediator who reads them.

Screening and other safety steps, while not perfect, can help participants stay safe as they work out resolutions to their conflicts in mediation.

Apology 101: Find a Period

A basic tenet in constructing an effective apology is not to say too much. As author Darrel Puls says, “By limiting the scope of the apology, we enhance the probability of success.” In my own experience, it means quickly finding a period, and stopping. Finish the sentence, and wait for the response. Only after the listener says something like, “What on earth were you thinking?” am I free to offer my explanation; if I include that in my initial statement, the listener hears not an explanation, but an excuse.

We were treated to a fine example of this today with Donald Trump’s video “apology” in connection with his comments ten years ago about pursuing and assaulting women. To his credit, Mr. Trump recognized that an apology would be an appropriate response here. And, after a false start initially (“If anyone is offended, I apologize”), his videotaped statement started out fairly well, with some essential elements of a good apology, such as taking responsibility (“I said it; I was wrong”) and stating, “I apologize.” Had he stopped there, we might have entertained the possibility that he was sincere — especially given that, by all accounts, Mr. Trump is not accustomed to apologizing. But going on to change the subject to Bill and Hillary Clinton’s shortcomings made clear he was not. If you want to construct an effective apology, blaming others is a basic “no-no” – a surefire way to undermine the effectiveness of an apology. He didn’t find the period soon enough.

A couple other elements of a good apology were missing. One is the intent to avoid the bad behavior in the future. Peacemaker Ministries in its “7 A’s of Confession” calls this, “Alter behavior.” Mr. Trump did not describe how he will avoid this behavior from now on. He “pledge[d] to be a better man tomorrow” but offered no specifics to suggest how that might happen. Another of the “7 A’s” is to “Admit specifically.” Mr. Trump is trying to apologize for his words; but people who listen to the 2005 tape are likely to be as alarmed about his actions as about his descriptions of them afterwards.

Mr. Trump may indeed be sorry for his actions in the past, but by skipping some basic principles of an effective apology, it doesn’t sound like it.