The controversy over King Charles’s remarks in Kenya this week highlights the difference between a “full-blown” apology and a statement of regret. King Charles sounded quite sincere when he noted, “The wrongdoings of the past are the source of greatest sorrow and deepest regret” regarding colonial atrocities by British forces in Kenya in the 1950s. But he is being faulted for failing to deliver an apology – so, what’s missing?

The 4 R’s are a good way to summarize the elements of an effective apology:

1. Remorse/regret
2. Responsibility for a specific act
3. Restitution/repair
4. Reform behavior

King Charles nailed the first element, the remorse or regret. But the second element is missing. This is not surprising, since King Charles was not personally responsible for those wrongs, and an apology on behalf of a group for wrongs it committed when one was a child is complicated. He did address one aspect of “responsibility,” which is to name the wrong done. King Charles is not denying that the British military committed “abhorrent and unjustifiable acts of violence against Kenyans.” Acknowledging the harm done pushes this beyond a mere statement of regret, even if it’s not a full apology.

Prior to the King’s visit to Kenya, the Kenya Human Rights Commission – perhaps anticipating this less-than-satisfactory result — called on King Charles to offer an “unconditional and unequivocal public apology (as opposed to the very cautious, self-preserving and protective statements of regrets).” The king chose to limit his statement to regrets. The BBC reports that a formal apology would have to be decided by government ministers. So perhaps, under the circumstances, the king went as far as he could towards a full apology.

Many Kenyans would say that another missing element is the third one, a promise of reparations. They would say the king missed two out of the three components they were hoping to hear. While this would also require government action, some suggest the king could donate to Kenya from his own personal treasury. The king apparently isn’t prepared to do that, but he did offer a different form of “repair,” by noting that he plans to study this topic to deepen his own understanding.

A finalist to head the Southern Baptist Convention included an apology in his resignation last week. Willie McLaurin, the interim president and CEO of the SBC Executive Committee, admitted that he had falsified his resume, and had not graduated from any of the institutions listed.

In his resignation letter, submitted to the SBC Executive Committee, he said in part:

“In a recent resume that I submitted, it included schools that I did not attend or complete the course of study… To the Southern Baptists who have placed their confidence in me and have encouraged me to pursue the role of President & CEO of the SBC Executive Committee, including pastors, state partners, entity servants, colleagues, and SBC African American friends, I offer my deepest apologies. Please forgive me for the harm or hurt that this has caused.”

If this is the sum total of the apology – and it may well not be –, it’s deficient.

Responsibility: For what is he apologizing? He reportedly admitted his wrong when confronted by the Executive Committee, but it’s not clear here that he’s apologizing for lying.

Remorse: “my deepest apologies” sounds weak somehow. Why is it plural? “deeply sorry” would sound more sincere.

Reform: A good apology includes a description of how the offender intends to alter behavior and avoid the offense in the future.

Impact: While he acknowledges that this caused “harm or hurt,” he doesn’t acknowledge exactly how – e.g., that it set back the SBC months in its search for a new CEO, and has shaken the already-shaken faith of many Southern Baptists who trusted him. Not sure why you need both “harm” and “hurt,” and if you’re going to keep both, wouldn’t it be better to link them with an “and” instead of an “or”?

To his credit, he didn’t try to justify himself or offer an explanation. But the weakness of this apology leaves us wondering whether he truly is sorry, and whether he fully understands the consequences to others of his wrongdoing. Let’s hope this isn’t the full apology, or that there’s more to come.